ERBIL, Iraq— When she got married at the age of 12, Fatima, not her real name, thought of marriage as an end to the maltreatment from her family and to the beginning of a better life with the man to whom she said yes.
But as soon as she got married, she realized that was merely a daydream that turned into a daily nightmare as she ended living a worse life.
“It is the norm that girls in my family have to marry at an early age and I did not mind the idea at the beginning… I thought I will lead a better life after marriage as my family is in debt with no source of income and they used to treat me like a burden”
Although her husband was 19 years old when she married him, he was already divorced and had a two-year old daughter, forcing a child to become a mother of another child.
“He, his mother and even my sister in law beat me up, do not let me go out without a companion and treat me like a slave,” said Fatima, who is 15 years old now, while having her own 20 months old daughter and her step daughter, talking to a social worker at the Women Safe Space in Baharka Camp for Internally Displaced Persons in Erbil.
As she was being interviewed, she was tense, looking around with her eyes glued to the room’s windows and doors. “My mother in law is outside, waiting for me, and she might come in any moment to see what I am doing here,” said the bewildered mother. Fatima said, she feels at ease when she talks to someone about her suffering, as she has no family in Iraq now.
“My family went to Turkey to seek asylum,” she cried… “I cannot even ask for divorce because I got married without contract due to my young age. There were only some sheikhs who were witnesses to my marriage… that is the only proof that I am married.”
In Iraq, the legal age of marriage is 18 for both girls and boys, but a girl can marry at the age of 15 with parental consent and can then get official documents approving her marriage.
“Even my daughter has no birth certificate as my marriage is not officially registered,” Fatima said, adding that she tries whenever possible to come to the Women Safe Space to talk to social workers as this provides her with a sigh of relief. Fatima is not the only case who survives with gender based violence and has no way out, according to Rukosh Amin, one of the social workers in the UNFPA Women Safe Space, in Bahark camp that hosts 778 internally displaced families, with 2,016 women among them.
“Providing consultations and psychosocial support for survivors of gender based violence is a challenge here, but with my colleagues, we succeeded to reach out to them and even visit them in their caravans”
Amin continued “We give lectures about the impact of the gender based violence and try our best to educate men on good practices and how they should treat their wives, but it will take time for us to succeed in our task,” explained the 45-year-old social worker. Amin, who herself was a refugee in one of the European countries before returning to Erbil six years ago admitted that life in refuge is not easy and adds pressure to women’s lives, and it gets harder when combined with domestic violence, “their life would be like hell, unless they receive the needed support”.
Every week, according to Amin, a lecture is organised in the Women Safe Space.
“It is not easy to convince men to come or even send their wives” she explained.
“This discouraged many to come in the beginning, until they started believing in our mission and that we are here to support them. People here are poor, they need clothes, toys for their children and even books… We distribute these things during the lectures and this encourages them to come”.
Another way to reach out to women who need support is through the reproductive health clinic, said Amin, adding that some of those who are being abused by their husbands find it easier to go to the clinic that is also supported by UNFPA. “Whenever there is a woman who is unable to come to our space, we meet her at the clinic”.
“We meet them there and talked to provide the support they need,” noted Amin.
By: Khetam Malkawi
